Golfing Etiquette, And Its Application To Cycling

A decade-or-so ago when cycling became formally recognised as the new golf, many overweight, middle-aged businessmen breathed a collective (and wheezy) sigh of relief.

Finally they were to be granted a reprieve from wearing ridiculous outfits like this…


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Top 10 Melbourne Bike Shops With Rude-sounding Names

#10: Bike Smellery
www.bikegallery.com.au

#9: Sleasley Cycles
www.beasleycycles.com.au

#8: Total Thrush
www.totalrush.com.au



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How I Learned Mountain Biking In A Weekend

The UCI Cross Country Mountain Bike World Cup (presented by Shimano) gets underway this weekend in Nové Město na Moravě. It was this race, and a very informative book, that sparked my own interest in the sport just a few years ago.

At the time I was looking for something new. Road cycling had gotten old and a video promo for an upcoming World Cup race in the small, mountain bike-crazed Czech town planted the seed.

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Auctioning The Embacher Collection

Austrian architect Michael Embacher’s world-famous bicycle collection goes up for auction this coming Tuesday. After last week’s Cocktail Preview Party at Vienna’s Dorotheum auction house, European boutique bicycle enthusiasts are understandably getting a little hot under their turtle-necked collars. Over the last 10-years, Embacher has amassed over 200 collectible bicycles, arranged fastidiously according to colour, in the attic-cum-bike gallery* of his Vienna design office.

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Staying Alive: Adventure Cycling’s New Edible Survival Accessories

Social cycling has taken an adventurous turn in recent years, mostly due to the realisation that risking your epidermis in crash-prone bunches on roads laden with broken glass and tacks whilst being verbally abused by bogans in powerful cars is no longer as thrilling as it once was. As the popularity of mountain, cyclo-cross and gravel bikes continue to rise, many group rides are heading off the sealed road in to once-unchartered territory. While fun, these expeditions mean a survival element now needs to be incorporated.

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Alternative Therapies For Cycling

When a recent conversation with a stranger surprisingly veered down a mystical path espousing the benefits of Crystal Healing, my inner sceptic immediately piped up with an internal dialogue more powerful than the compulsion to risk life and death at a level crossing in the Paris-Roubaix.



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23rd Cycle Messenger World Championships

There are many fantastic ways for cyclists to celebrate Easter — if celebrate is the correct verb. After all, it’s not really lighthearted stuff, this Christian ultra-long weekend that honours backstabbing friends, an unjust legal system, and an incredible comeback that makes even Lance Armstrong’s 2009 Tour de France podium—the one where he “absolutely [did] not” dope—seem fairly unimpressive.


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Cycling’s Strange Affinity With April Fool’s Day And The Coriolis Effect

The history of April Fool’s Day possibly goes back as far as the 1600s, but it wasn’t until more recently, with the emergence of comedy websites (such as cyclingnews.com) that its reach has been able to fully penetrate the world of cycling. Thankfully there’s nothing that cyclists enjoy more than being fully penetrated.



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Aerodynamics: Are We Doing It Wrong?

This blog and its readers no doubt count themselves in the elite upper-echelon of cycling aficionados. Their fingers are firmly on the pulse of cutting-edge technological breakthroughs, the latest well-styled fashions and a broad yet critical understanding of the nuances of both professional and amateur cycling.



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The High Front End

Despite some overwhelmingly convincing evidence about the benefits of a low stack height, it appears that a growing number of cyclists are now choosing not to “go low”. A new wave of “high flyers” are touting the benefits of the high front end as a more healthy and desirable bike setup option. The difference in opinion is likely to form a rift in the cycling community, or at least add to the growing disharmony that already exists: roadies vs mountain bikers; 26” vs 29”; baggy shorts vs lycra; and all cyclists vs triathletes.

The Murky Underworld Of Corporate Contributions And Wheel Size Segregation

I was starting to think that the wheel size wars were finally petering out until a recent trip to Rotorua in New Zealand confirmed that not only is the debate still alive and well, but that it may actually be evolving in to a recognised form of segregation—bucking the trend of many civil rights movements throughout history.

I refer, of course, to the recently updated trail signage in Rotorua’s Whakarewarewa forest that now include wheel size recommendations, a divisive instrument that may soon disrupt the harmonious nature of mountain biking.

We're Not Here To Fuck Spiders

If you’ve ever endured the excruciating ordeal of a group mountain bike ride then you've probably come across the phrase, “we’re not here to fuck spiders!” But then again, you might not have. After all, mountain biking is no longer the peculiar hobby of a bunch of Californian misfits on bikes cobbled together from heavy old cruiser frames in between rigorous product testing on the influx of recently decriminalised cannabis presumably spilling over the border from neighbouring Oregon during the mid-1970s.

New Zealand's Energy Drink-Fueled Freeride Evolution

New Zealand—Aotearoa: land of the long white cloud, face tattoos and lesser litigious opportunities. As a cyclist, these three seemingly unrelated factors come together to provide ideal conditions for mountain biking…and the more extreme the mountain biking, the better, it seems.

Peak Clash Weekend

The unprecedented quantity of cycling events offered in Australia last weekend represented what 2013 Tour Divide runner-up (and potato cake connoisseur) Jesse Carlsson dubbed “peak clash weekend.”

For race organisers, it represented the culmination of more than 12 months worth of careful planning and stakeholder engagement, resulting in a weekend where cycling, in many different forms, was celebrated on a grand, albeit very diluted, scale.

Wheelmen – An Historical Name Sullied

According to Urban Dictionary a wheelman is, among other things:

“A dirty ginger with a tiny penis who enjoys greasing up other guys dingleberries with WD-40 and melted white chocolate then taking pictures of them so he can jerk off later.”

"You see that Corey guy?"
"Yeah, he seems like a total Wheelman"

Tinder, Strava and Matchmaking For Cyclists

As a social activity, cycling has a reputation for being a bit cliquey. Maybe it’s because as cyclists we feel like a threatened minority, on the roads at least. Or perhaps it’s the strange clothing that we wear. For males it could be that we feel persecuted for having shaved legs, something that society generally deems acceptable only for females. But whatever the reasons, the fact is that cycling is fun, and it’s generally more fun with other people. 

Achilles' Last Stand

Bicycle theft is usually a fairly disconnected experience for a bike owner. You’re not around when it happens and it comes as a complete surprise to find your bike gone from wherever you left it. The circumstances leading up to its theft and the details of how it was actually carried out are generally a mystery. Bike thievery is, for the most part, an activity lacking in transparency, like many other aspects of bicycle culture. 

Inspirational Role Models: Part 2 - Richard Bowles

The first instalment of Inspirational Role Models featured Sydney ultra-endurance trail runner Shona Stephenson. Part 2 looks at another Australian trail runner, Richard Bowles. Aside from their athletic abilities, the two have a lot of other things in common – an incredible talent for gathering online followers, unstoppable self-promotional skills and a gift for writing nauseatingly clichéd and barely intelligible prose. They also possess a curious knack for squeezing the meaning out of well-known proverbs, reducing them to oxymoronic catch-phrases or simple statements of common sense.

Audience Participation In Professional Cycling

It seems like each year that Grand Tour season rolls around the crowds lining the roads get bigger. But not just bigger – more rowdy, more intoxicated, more passionate, more exuberant. More naked.

Every time there’s a mountain top finish, spectators inevitably end up spilling out across the road, excitedly cheering on the riders, waving flags and generally getting in the way.

Transparency In Cycling

Most people would agree that there needs to be more transparency in cycling – whether it’s the long history of doping shrouded in the secrecy of professional cycling’s omertà, corruption within the UCI or clarification on whether or not Giro d’Italia descents are neutralised or not.